We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
