Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize