Don't you send me to vm
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize