i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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