She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I want a musical about memes.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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