Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize