talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
