i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
They are going to name an STD after you.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
