the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
