i can't believe i had my finger in that
My cat gives me a boner
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
