I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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