what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
