I'm pants shitting drunk right now
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
