He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
