I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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