I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
