shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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