Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
