Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize