Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
