I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
