No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize