I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
