After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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