apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize