it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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