Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I deserve this hangover.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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