Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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