as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
