Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
