thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
