i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
