O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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