Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize