So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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