OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
