Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
