So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
two words: eviction party
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
