we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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