just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
