woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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