Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
