im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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