do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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