We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
