I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
