I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
the day after is always just damage control
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
