Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
