Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
