was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
