I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
