hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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