Someone shit on the floor
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
