I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
