my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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