So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
