We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
