This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize