did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
