I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i think i have two assholes
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
did you just send me my own nude
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
