Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
